Derby Week Bingo

You just know it's that time of year, don't you? Home Alone is on TV every other Sunday, as is that Coca-Cola advert and certain people in some quarters of this island have descended into hysteria as the slightest bit of snow falls. Despite this, Manchester United have still found the time to wheel out some of their most despicable has-beens in an attempt to try to enforce this now hilarious sense of royalty. In recent years, the likes of David May et al have awoken themselves from sleep at ungodly hours to mouth off on the 4AM slot on TalkSPORT. This year has been no different, so in light of the #DerbyWeekBingo hash tag, lets have a look at some of the best.

Same shit, different year. "Manchester City are like a little brother who will never take their "big brother's" place" is how it reads from BBC Sport. The analogy is new to me but, those Norwegians eh? They put butter and sugar on their spuds. Different breed.

Now, Gary Neville has received, rightfully I suppose, a lot of praise thanks to his very good punditry and analysis over the last eighteen months, nevertheless, G-Nev, as he prefers to be referred to when roaming the streets of Harlem, has disappointed me to no end with this one. There's a fair chance that the headline could be a template, substitute "Manchester City" for "Chelsea" and "Roberto Mancini" for Chelsea manager at time of said article and voilà, you have your article. Abramovich and Mansour run their respective clubs exactly the same way don't they? Typical derby week article. Son, I am disappoint.

I think we should all take a moment to thank Ryan for his efforts both this season and last. Once a fantastic winger, he's now developing into a parody of himself both on and off the pitch. His exploits at Norwich last month were laughable, and yet, rather than consider his own future, Giggs has decided to tire us all with a history (they like that don't they) lesson regarding the Manchester Ship Canal. To eradicate any doubt, Giggs, you're biggest rival is a namesake. 

A couple of other beauties that have arisen in recent hours are United's left-back Alexander Buttner claiming that he was unaware that the Sick Swan had even taken place, the pikey was contracted to Dutch Club Vitesse at the time, not the historic red devils. Additionally, Ferguson claimed only today in his press conference that if United were awarded as many penalties as City, there would be a national inquiry. Nice going, pisscan.

Hot Tip

Have a look out for two things over the next 36 hours. Firstly, there's a fair chance you'll see Bryan Robson at some point on Sky Sports News talking about history. What's almost certain is that he'll be in some boozer with his dick in a pint. His pint. Finally, Michael Owen, despite being pressed for time given all the work he's doing at Stoke, is expected to tweet something along the lines of "can't see past United.." because either a) they're playing so much better than a faltering City side, or b) there's a togetherness in the United camp that City can't match for all the money in the world. 

Is that Fairytale of New York I can hear playing?